Understanding The Purpose And Value Of A Mentor

“Our choice of people to associate with, both personally and business-wise, is one of the most important choices you make. If you associate with turkeys, you will never fly with the eagles.” Brian Tracy

It’s embassing to admit this but I first heard about the word mentor from the man I consider my first mentor … the late Jim Rohn.

As I listened to Jim Rohn going throw the philosophy and principles he learnt from his mentor Mr Earl Shoaff I got so excited and decided to have him as my ‘secret’ mentor. And almost every time I hear the word mentor I think of Mr. Shoaff. According to Jim Rohn, Mr Shoaff was a brilliant mentor.

Don’t you think it is nice to have someone like Mr. Shoaff in your life … someone who would totally challenge the way you look at life and guide you in your personal development?

For those who do not know who Mr. Shoaff is or who have never heard of him, let me take this opportunity to introduce you to my ‘secret’ mentor.

I have never met him or heard him speak either but from what I have gathered from Jim Rohn, this is the kind of man I would like to emulate. Jim Rohn describes him as his original mentor; a man, who never went to college, never went to university and only managed grade 9. Yet for his simplicity became a great influence to Jim Rohn, and to many others who came across his teachings.

Indeed a mentor affects eternity; he can never tell where his influence stops. Mr. Shoaff was so straight to the point that you could hardly miss what he said.

He had such great wisdom and philosophy about things.

For example I recall Jim Rohn saying that when he commented, “this is all the

company pays,” Mr. Shoaff replied, “No! That is all they pay you.”

When Jim told him that things cost too much, he would say, “No! You can’t

afford them.”

I was so happy at the discovery of this new philosophy and determined to live a life of purpose and find myself a good mentor along the way.

A good mentor is a valuable asset and can provide a fresh perspective of looking at problems and situations.

Many people today repeat the same mistake and say “that’s all the company pays.” Do you mean the company pays you only? If that is all they pay then it means you are the only one getting paid. But the truth as already seen is that that’s what they only pay you.

And you might have people getting double your pay in the same company. So for thing to change for you, you must change your perspective first and also seek ways to improve yourself so as to get a better salary too.

Following Mr. Shoaff ‘s instructions and teachings Jim Rohn grew into a great mentor himself. He learnt and has been teaching that… for things to change you have to change first.

In other words, your philosophy about prosperity has to change first if you want to prosper. You have to have this mind that God owns cattle in a thousand hills and does not eat beef … therefore beef is for you.

You see, Jim Rohn challenged my philosophy of life by saying, “Success is not to be pursued but attracted by the person you become.”

I also learned from him that life put more valuable things on the high shelf so that you can’t get to them until you qualify.

And I also learned that personal development is necessary to help your qualify.

Armed with this philosophy I began my journey in personal development and my life has never been the same again.

Now I know that what I am writing to you is not ‘mind over matter’ philosophies. This isn’t Christian Science either but God’s principles.

God gave each one of us a mind to create and design a future we desire. He has laid

around us all resources necessary to help us achieve our goals and dreams. He has provided us with heroes, role models, and mentors to guide us.

He also gave us the manual for life, his word which is alive and active… The Bible.

For example, we find many success stories of mentors and their mentees in the Bible … such as Moses mentoring Joshua; Elijah mentoring Elisha, Jesus mentoring the disciples, Paul mentoring Timothy and the list goes on and on.

So with this kind of evidence, my question to you is … Who is your mentor?

And please don’t rush into answering this question, take time and be sure of whom

your mentor is.

Ok! let me help you understand what a mentor is in more details first.

A mentor is someone with more experience than you in certain a field and serves as a guide towards your development.

A mentor is a wise and trusted counselor or teacher.

A mentor is not somebody whom you admire but someone whose

instruction you follow.

The acid test of whether someone is your mentor, is based on you following and implementing their advice. You may not like it, but still do it.

In his book ‘Everyone needs a mentor,’ David Clutterbuck described a mentor as a more experienced individual willing to share their knowledge with someone less experienced in a relationship of mutual trust.

In our society today kids grow up wanting to be Superman or Spiderman.

And without good mentors they end up copying wrong lifestyles from television

characters or celebrities.

Now do you understand what a mentor is?

Your mentor is not someone you wish to be like but someone whom you can emulate.

A good mentor gives you instruction and also coaches you on how to

reach your maximum potential.

In this case therefore an ideal mentor should be someone you know personally. However, you can still develop a great relationship even if you have never met your mentor in person.

A mentor should by all means be someone whom you share a compatible philosophy and above all someone who believes in you.

Furthermore, your mentor should be someone who has walked the road before you, someone who has tackled and mastered the discipline you desire.

He should at least know the smooth and rough side of the road.

He should at least, have faced the challenges that you’re likely to face and also enjoyed the victories you desire.

He knows what to do and also what not to do.

His role therefore is to help you go through important transitions in development.

These might include your spiritual, financial, social, academic and other areas of

your life.

A mentor gives you an opportunity to learn from his mistakes and successes.

Plus, mentors give you an advantage to climb a secure ladder much faster than if you were on your own.

They don’t want to see you fall or fail but they believe you can achieve even greater things than they had achieved.

There is really no shortcut to prosperity, however, mentors are like a catalyst and improve your chances to succeed.

From a chemistry point of view a catalyst is something which speeds up a chemical

reaction without itself being one of the reactants or products (in other words,

without being consumed).

In the same manner, mentors are supposed to be the catalysts and not the byproducts of your success.

I don’t want to bore you here, however, I want you to fully understand the importance of what a mentor is and also see the advantage of choosing your mentors wisely.

The truth is, we all have heroes.

And in most cases our heroes give us a framework of who we can become if we diligently and persistently pursue our ideals.

As Fred Smith says in his book ‘You and your Networks,’

“Heroes are the personification of our ideals, the embodiment of

our highest values.”

But heroes are not necessarily our mentors.

We also have role models whether we are aware of it or not.

For example, a son shapes his life after his father and a daughter after her mother.

And this is important because we’re all born ‘ignorant’ in a way to life situations and we tend to shape our lives by the influence we get.

The people around us mould us into what we eventually become.

Therefore, our models make us realize and pursue our function.

They present a picture of what to do. Their contribution is mostly aligned to what we do not who we are.

By knowing your heroes and your role models one can vaguely predict your outcome in life, but being introduced to your mentor definitely exposes

and present who you are.

Like Jesus Christ once said, “If you have seen the father you have seen the son.”

Jesus did exactly what the father would do, and so shall you if you follow the instructions of your mentors.

So how do you go about choosing a mentor?

Listen! If you don’t have a mentor get one now.

But before you can choose a mentor get your foundation established first. You have to understand that mentors are just human beings as you.

They are not perfect and neither are they all knowing. In fact, a mentor who has never been a protégé is questionable.

You must also know that no one mentor will ever be all-sufficient.

Only God is all-sufficient, perfect and can answer all your questions.

You must also understand that … a mentor is to you… what yeast is to dough- he gives you power to rise and expand.

When identifying a mentor there are several qualities to look for such as good character, trustworthiness, ability to keep confidences, good communications skills,

honesty, respect, wide range of experience, and above all a genuine willingness to help you in your development.

A good mentor is therefore worth all the attention you could give to man because he/ she is not in the game to win but to make you a winner.

And here is what you have to do to find a great mentor…

In most cases you should look for someone who has accomplished goals that might

be similar to yours and also have similar values to you.

Even though experience and skill is what you are looking for, always rank loyalty and integrity on the top of your list.

Why?

Because …

Good character is more valuable than experience.

Your mentor should be someone you are able to approach with honesty, openness and respect.

The individual must also be comfortable with giving feedback even when it hurts.

Most people think that it is better to have someone older than you as mentor, however experience and maturity are not a matter of age but comes

with responsibility … therefore choose wisely.

The following steps could be handy in your search for a mentor:

• What are your goals concerning the mentoring relationship?

• Who are the prospective individuals and what is it that makes them suitable to be your mentor?

• Select the best suitable candidate for your needs based on the qualities already

discussed above.

• Arrange for an appointment… this could be either in person or online.

• Prepare a short list of questions to guide you in the conversation.

• Find out more about your prospect’s goals and achievements

During your conversation make sure you state your goals and request feedback.

It’s also advisable to take notes during the discussion. If you are interested in establishing a long term relationship, let the candidate know and find out if

they would be willing to meet again in future.

Always make sure you follow up with a thank you note and perhaps a gift. It’s an

advantage to let the person know how much you appreciate their input and

willingness to help you.

And for your goodness’ sake, take action on the advice you receive all the time and review your actions on the next meeting.

I hope that this post has been useful to you… and will be waiting to hear your testimony.

Now, that brings us to the end of todays post.

However, before you go… please do me a favor…

you see, I Love to hear what you think, in the comments… so please leave a comment.

To your success… why settle for less?

T B Mosweu

P.S. If you’re looking for a little guidance yourself, here’s a good place to start:  The Founders Club.  That’s my mentor’s coaching or mentorship program  and is crammed with resources that will make your quest for wealth, fame and happiness as easy as going down a greased slide… this guy simple knows his stuff… in fact, they call him “The Guru to the Gurus,” because he has couched many successful business owners both offline and online.

P.S. To benefit more from a mentorship, you must be a good protégé or mentee… and that’s why you don’t want to miss our next post… How to be a good protégé…

cya…